Sitting on the sea-shore I close my eyes,
and try to forget the pain and agony within....
You say I am hated, dreaded and despised,
But those drops of tears will tell you that I've been nice.
I liked you, I missed you and loved you beyond words,
But now you make me realise it was a felony comitted.
I was called heartless and my words were taken for lies,
But even that lie had a grain of truth inside.
According to you I lost your trust,
But there was nothing to lose coz you never trusted me enough,
You believed me and I shattered your hopes.
And you mocked me everytime I suffered and tried to cope.
You want to erase memories of me,
And kill me, slaughter me and rip me apart
But boy it aint that easy
Coz Ill always be there SAFE in your heart.
But no I woudnt ask for forgiveness
My hard core ego woudnt let me
You leave me distressed and I suffer in silence
My life's gone to the dogs and now its a complete mess.
I tried to ease things between us
But it would invariably backfire
Your rude remarks were unintentional...of that i was sure
But you never tried to communicate
Whether your love for me was really so pure.
You always acted soo demanding and victimized
and went a bit far too precipitous and bitter
you may have had plenty of reasons to be distraught
but I was aggravated by the way I was being treated.
Already stabbed by your hurtful words,
You made me cry myself to sleep everyday
Losing myself and completely cracking up
Thats how I lived my life day by day.
Those red puffy eyes
May never scream the truth
But the deafening silence between us
Will definitely wake you up from slumber.
So wake up
Coz it might not be too late
Better now than never coz
I promise I'll make you to beg me forever.
So lick my feet and kiss my shoes
Wag your tail and I might let you lose
But dont dare bark and make things worse
Coz ill pull off your skin and not let you remorse.
Healing my heart and drowning my woe
I commit myself to the bottle
Making merry and dancing to my tunes
But in reality torn between doubts and confusion.
How could i possibly forget??
My sheer astonishment to your angry outbursts
My resentful remembering
My days of utter pain in the heart and my silent suffering.
I hate you so much
That i could never love any one again i felt
But dont take it as an offence
Coz i mean it an insult.
Now that you are gone life's hazy and deceptive
And am mortal afraid coz theres nothing to gain
I have naysayers around me
Telling me that i am going completely insane.
Dont try to soothe the pain
Because the pain will never be soothed
But you rarely take interest in it
Considering it dull and uncouth.
I chastised myself for acting so emotionally
And i cursed myself and talked nonsense
But no more do i have the emotional strength
To counter your current vehemence.
But you still woudnt say sorry
May be because you are stoned or just plain shy
But now i so very wish you were dead
Would have been reason enough for me to cry.
It now seems presumptous that u would care
Your reversion to angry sarcasm
Has eroded my optimism too
But dont worry about me
Because am learning to detest you.
